Friday, November 15, 2002

BENEFITS OF SEX!!!!

You've gotta read this. It's hilarious! A fren of mine sent it to me.... Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. Ohhh I can't wait!!!

Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not?

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen,
which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced
cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more
enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving
you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called
pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the
acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in Palaiseau. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on. If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price. Do not keep this message. This message must leave your mail in ! 96 hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days. Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even if you are
not superstitious. GOOD SEX, but please remember: 10 copies of this message must leave your mail in 96 hours or you will not have good sex again for the rest of your life!!!!
Subject: My poor bros and frens are complaining about 'Hantaran Naik Beb' !!!!

HANTARAN Zaman sekarang ni kan hantaran makin naik harga. Maklumlah kata dorang ikut market price. Kalau harga mas naik, naik lagi harga bakal2 bini. Tak ikut market price nanti orang kata kedekut lah sengkek lah tak mampu jangan ada hati nak kahwin lah hai...macam-macam story lagi.

Biasanya yang letak harga ialah mak sebelah pompan. Bapak selalu ikutkan aje ni semua kerja orang pompan dorang kata. Kadang2 ada jugak pompan sendiri yang letak harga lepas tu pakat dengan mak. Mengikut survey; sekarang paling minimum 10,000. Hantaran 8000, 6000 masih ada jugak tapi dah boleh kira pakai jari tangan je. Yang ada hantaran kira okay lah tapi ada serba satunya lagi. Cuma serba-serbi dan serba boleh je belum ada lagi.

Kat sini aku ada beberapa sebab kenapa sekarang hantaran makin mahal. Hah....korang bacalah :

Sebab..

1. Anak pompan sorang
2. Anak pompan sekolah tinggi 20 tingkat
3. Anak pompan paling jembu dalam family
4. Anak pompan kerja high post
5. Anak pompan biasa pakai barang branded
6. Kakak belum kahwin jadi kena kasi double untuk belanja kakaknya sekaligus
7. Bapak pompan towkay kayu balak mak pulak bekas ekseketip

Selalunya jawapan yang diberi oleh pihak lelaki kalau hantaran melampau sangat (ni dorang bebual antara family lelaki je) :

1. "Eh! Nak meniaga anak ke pe?"
2. "Kalau pandai masak ke jahit ke satu hal jugak. Ni asik pandai mekap je."
3. "Camni bilang dorang simpan anak tu dalam store buat perhiasan."
4. "Kalau lawa macam Karishma Kapoor tu takpe jugak. Ni idung pesek macam kena lenggek je."
5. "Apa dorang ingat kita sedara Bill Gates ke?"
6. "Lupakan sudah budak pompan tu. Nanti mak carik kan yang lebih power dari Catherine Zeta-Jones eh?"

Kata2 dari sebelah pompan yang lelaki ingin sangat nak dengar :

1. "Ikut suka hatilah. Berapa yang lelaki kasi; kita ambik je. Members tak cerewet."
2. "Takpelah. Kalau tak boleh adakan sekarang; kahwin dulu. Lepas tu bayar pelan-pelan cara instalment."
3. "Jangan bimbang. Korang cuma adakan hantaran je. Duit majlis semua kita sponsor."
4. "Pasal sekarang ni musim great sale sana sini; jadi kita ada staff discount. Korang cuma kasi 10% je."
5. "Berapa korang nak kasi, kasilah. Nak ambik free pun takpe. Anak pompan kita ramai lagi."
6. "Apakata kalau korang ambik kakaknya sekali. Tapi hantaran tetap sama. Kira 2 for the price of 1 ler. Risaulah kakaknya tak
kahwin-kahwin."
7. "Kita worang Yindia mari. Itu yantaran kita kasi jugak. Tapi lupya anak musti tinggal sini jugak. Kita pya sarkek tamoh kasi dudur
sana wokay?"

Kalau kena pulak family lelaki yang loaded makan tak abis punya;jawapannya:

1. "Okay setuju. Kita up lagi ,000. Nothing much ler."
2. "Ehh sikit nah! Camni tak nak lah. Tak sama standard dengan kita punya expectation ler."
3. "Ni hantaran kira Rupiah ke Sing dollars? Kita cuma simpan American dollars je."
4. "Kita tak kasi pakai cash ler. Korang pilih nak AMEX ke; Diners ke; boleh kata semua credit card kita ada lah."
5. "Sebagai hadiah upacara masuk minang ni; kita ada siapkan kereta Lambhorgini. Tu anak bujang kita tengah parking kat bawah tu."
6. "Ni korang mintak hantaran ke; mintak duit nak belikan dia baju tidur.
Murah nah?"

Haa...tu lah beberapa kerenah orang melayu kita ni. Jadi untuk pasangan2 yang nak kawin tu; bincang betul2 antara korang dengan family dalam hal ni. Mak pompan tu pun kalau nak letak harga; berpatutan lah dengan kemampuan pihak lelaki. Kalau tak berdengek lelaki tu nak adakan hantaran mahal2. Hati dah suka punya pasal; semua boleh aje. Cukup time badan cengkung-mengkung tak larat nak naik pelamin pasal kerja tiga empat macam untuk kumpul duit.

Bab yang atas ni pun untuk aku jugak. Pikiran seyy kalau kena lecture dengan mak aku pasal ni. Maybe get married to an educated young village girl is better....hhhhmmmm.....Entahlah....dunia...dunia...