KINGDOM OF PATIENCE

2003-03-21T02:44:00.000-08:00

Why Do Men Lie ?>.......One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and aked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happily.

One day while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You cheat! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You will come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also say 'no' to her, You will thirdly come up with my wife, and I will say 'yes,' and then all three will be given to me. But Lord, I am a poor man and I will not be able to take care of all three wifes, so that's
>why I said yes this time." The moral of the story is whenever a man lies it is for an honorable and useful reason.

2003-03-04T01:32:00.000-08:00

The years seemed everlastin with our friendship...
But gone are those days of loyal friendship...

U chose what ur parents and frens opposed...
But u rather enjoyed what Satan proposed...

U think u can throw ur guts anywhere...
But think my fren/s...ur lousy guts r nowhere..

U came n enjoyed the seeds of the crop....
But never mess with the "Cream of the Crop".

U might come knockin on our doors one day..
But r u sure u'll make it till that day..

Think guys...if alcohol n drugs r ur cup of tea...ur a menace to Islam's Society...
With hypocrites n cowards like u hiding behind ur key...OBVIOUSLY..Hell Is Comin Get Ready...!!!!

2003-02-19T11:46:00.000-08:00

Subject: Nak KayaTak....

Cerita di bawah ni adalah benar dan tidak ada yang tidak benar ...yang pasti kalau anda nak tahu akan kebenaran cerita di bawah ni,
silalah baca sehingga noktah yang terakhir. Ini adalah kisah benar yang telah diceritakan sendiri oleh (nama samaran Mamat) kepada wartawan Variasari. Sewaktu si Mamat dalam perjalanan manaiki kereta untuk pulang ke KL daripada JB melalui lebuhraya, beliau berhenti rehat di salah sebuah hentian. Sewaktu berehat maka datanglah kepadanya seorang tua yang berpakaian agak compang-camping lalu menegurnya, "Anak nak ke mana?", si Mamat menjawab ringkas, "KL." Orang tua itu bertanya lagi, "Boleh pakcik tumpang sampai ke Pagoh?" dan dijawab oleh si Mamat tadi "Ehm... bolehlah." Lantas orang tua itu masuk dan duduk di dalam keretanya. Dalam hati si Mamat berkata, "Hai, siapalah orang tua ni, orang ke atau ...???" Beliau meneruskan perjalanannya.
Sebaik menghampiri Pagoh, orang tua tadi bertanya, "Anak nak kaya tak?" Si Mamat tersentak dan berkata dalam hati, "Dah mula dah orang tua ni. Nak bagi aku kaya pulak. Orang tua ni nak bagi aku nombor kot. Atau nak menguji aku?" Si Mamat pun jawab, "Tak apalah pakcik, hidup sederhana pun cukup. Kalau kaya nanti lupa diri pulak." Orang tua tu tak bertanya lagi. Dalam hati
si Mamat berkata mungkin jawapannya adalah yang terbaik takut-takut itu hanya suatu ujian daripada orang tua tadi. Kemudian orang tua tu tanya lagi, "Anak nak kaya tak?" Si Mamat jawab serupa yang tadi, "Tak apalah pakcik, saya lebih senang hidup sederhana."

Bila sampai di Pagoh, orang tua itu minta diturunkan lalu berkata, "Tu, pakcik ada tinggalkan satu tin kaya cap Yeo's untuk anak bagai tanda terima kasih kerana tumpangkan pakcik. Terima kasih, ya nak", lalu orang tua tu turun dari kereta. Si Mamat tersipu-sipu malu lalu menjawab, "Terima kasihlah pakcik", lalu meneruskan perjalanan. Pengajaran dari cerita tadi, kalau orang bagi kaya minta dia roti sekali. Itulah ceritanya...

2003-02-04T13:29:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!!!....Guess what?...Ol' Nicodemus went to NUH to have his arm x-rayed....was he happy or what after being consulted by the doctor.....he came out with his mouthful of barbed-wired teeth grinning at us......he was happy when the doctor told him that he doesn't need to cast his arm......well of coz felt happy for him but hopefully he learned his lesson....!!!!!

2003-02-01T15:32:00.000-08:00

hai..juz another day cruisin around.....and had supper with the guys...as usual it is becoming a habit for some, instead of enjoying God gave rezeki (their food) in front of them..they enjoy lookin at what some of their frens order...n wat they eat...n of coz they juz can't wait to utter rubbish....and for some they have the cheek to eat the food from the fren that they insulted, its juz like spiitin at urself.....some ppl never change!!!!!!!!!

2003-01-28T02:58:00.000-08:00

GOODBYE JALAN KAYU...........Myself, Ezjazz, JFK, Zam, Ridwan, Fadzli and Vialli went for supper last night. Not in Zam's 1.6 but in a 3.0 Pesterminator van,which belonged to Zam's fren 'Deck'....as Ez suggested, we decided to dine at Jalan Kayu. When we arrived at Thasevi, self proclaimed as the famous Prata shop, HUH!! MY ASS!!!... we started to order.......surprise...surprise......a Prata Paper costs $3.00....can u imagine a flour rolled flat and with a little bit of margarine on it costs that much where usually it is only $1.50.....that place was cursed and damned for a moment....Fadzli cudn't stop sulking at the Mamak.......and the Mutton Chop that Zam was eating costs $4.50 or $5.00....where u can get it at $3.50 elsewhere....In the end Ez, Vialli and Zam stuffed themselves with some glory.....huh God knows how they felt.....So next I suggested to go to A&Z Restaurant over at Sembawang Road formerly known as AA Restaurant......God answered our prayers as usual........we arrived at A&Z smiling as we entered the restaurant...food ranging from traditional Malay and Indian food to modern Western n Thai food were parading in front of us.......OK..cut the crap.....I ended up havin a plate of Mee Goreng Kerang $3, n a plate of Gado2 $2, Zam had another plate of Gado2, Mamat had Mee Goreng Kerang, Ridwan had Mee Soto n Fadzli......ladies and gentlemen...had two plates of Chili Crab cooked in Chili in Black Pepper. Oh yes......goodbye Jalan Kayu.......HELLO A&Z RESTAURANT!!!!!!!!!HHHMMMM.......Am I supposed to be on diet!!!!!!

2003-01-27T02:22:00.000-08:00

Hello there.....nice to be back again........i hav been busy lately, cruising around the island with my fren's 1.6.....Have u guys watched the latest Hindi film titled 'KAANTE', well if u hav not go watch it now....i hav the vcd....its with Ezjazz now......and if u guys wanna watch it take it from him and pls do inform me if u hav it......the film was shot at New York City and Los Angeles.......the actors are all top bollywood stars and i rate the movie with ****stars.......Schnoogums u gotta watch the movie........As for Ezjazz n lil Ms Mango, speedy recovery alrite.......bye guys, c u later.........

2003-01-19T13:44:00.000-08:00

Hello Guys....How ya doin?......I'm still busy lookin for a full-time job.........if u guys got anythin for me......tag me ok......in the meantime u folks take care and have a beautiful week.......bye for now!!!!!

2003-01-13T03:20:00.000-08:00

WHAT ELSE DO U WANT???......Today Marriott Hotel called n informed me bout my unsuccessful application for the post of a receptionist...I wonder after coming back with a Swiss Honours Degree and furthermore applying for a non-management position, finally turns out to be unsuccessful, what else do they want, the interview went well, I answered the questions and asked necessary questions yet did not make it...Well, its one of those interviews u know, whereby u go home satisfied after the interview session thinking this ones mine, but it didn't work out. Well gotta try searchin again.....but not today, as I am down with high fever and cough.......lookin forward to a fast recovery and get back to the job-hunting world...again. Ok guys me knocking off...juz wasn't my day.......take care folks!!!!

2003-01-08T17:18:00.000-08:00

THREE BLIND MICE BUT ONE STAYIN AT 559.....This one mouse likes to make frens...to his frens he is one mouse who enjoys writing, sniffing and whatever a decent mouse wud do to earn a living....remember "Nicodemus" from the famous literature "The Secret of Nymph". Anyways....at times, this poor little mouse extends his pool of frenship accidentally....he often unnecessarily scare the balls out of others, especially strangers, by going over to them with whatever confidence and talking to them from blindside and at times putting his arms around their shoulders, finally realizing they aren't his frens, ( Gosh...dun he know how his frens look like)...can u imagine, one day he just went inside a car thinking it was his fren's..the poor victims look dazed and frightened maybe, of course, from the gestures of Good O' Nicodemus...Boasting with his famous Dolce & Gabbana glasses, his eyesight is no better than the poor man playing his 135th solo album at the Underpass at Orchard MRT.....Time to get new pair of glasses....Good O' Nicodemus!!!!!!

2003-01-08T16:23:00.000-08:00

OHHHHH.........AHHHHHHH........WHEN WILL THIS MARATHON STOP.....i started at 1900hours yesterday and I am tryin to stop but my mind whispered to me telling me not to stop...so I kept on and on.......feelin tired and almost wanted to.......but that dream of losin weight never crossed my mind at that time......so I kept on and on.........suddenly.....ARGHHH......."Mona"my cat was on top of me.......What the Hell........its already 0300hours....and I just got up......there goes another day without jogging.....GOOD MORNIN GUY'S!!!!!!

2003-01-03T14:08:00.000-08:00

Fat Boy Slim....Hey guys and gals, me need to lose weight big time.........look eating after 10 or 12 at night is not good i know......ok fine I will not eat after 12.......should i jog in the early mornings or late evenings.......i luv swimming and football.....but need to tone down my body so that the gals can appreciate once again the Big Balbowski. I need a partner to jog with me be it a guy or gal.....so that i will not feel bored......Anyone care to join me?........AND....My poor wardrobe is unhappy coz i have been appreciating it much lesser these few months and my clothes are dying to feel me .....ohh....especially those tight tees......Ohhh keep ur comments to urself.........Sie alles sind Arschloch!!!!!!!

2002-12-29T18:27:00.000-08:00

Last Letter First......a game played at 7-11....recently....JFK came up with this game and all of us enjoy playing this game....trust me u will enjoy the game as much as we do......the winner who survives which is actually not easy....whoever u are.....whether u can write good.....talk much....have a honours degree.....or less hair...(oops sori dude)....doesn't mean u can win....even the dumbest might end up a winner...it is a test of controlling an adrenalin rush or a sudden rush of shit thru ur brains....where at times u end up uttering the wrong words or juz like my fren who ended up saying......cheetot or even one of them who juz went...ee eee eee.........worst still one of my bros nearly burst his throat veins.....why people get excited over this game.....it is because of the STAKE!!!...the stake comes in a form of .......dun wanna tell u.....wanna know.....come on down....be part of the game.....ok lets start with A......Afghanistan..........oklah we will play at 7-11.......n to Raimie and Ridwan....LOVE U!!!

2002-12-03T17:47:00.000-08:00

CINTA seorang LELAKI yg sebenar.... As'salamualaikum wr wb.....
Buat kaum Adam ... jika benar anda menyintai seorang wanita, lihatlah sama ada apa yang tertulis dibawah ini sama seperti apa yang anda alami dalam melayari dunia percintaan. Bagi kaum Hawa pula... hargailah mereka... kerana kita tidak akan tahu bila mereka akan pergi dari sisi kita. Bercinta ini banyak dugaan dan halangan yang akan datang tanpa diundang. Semoga anda bijak memilih diantara permata dan kaca.

CINTA SEORANG LELAKI
Bila lelaki benar-benar jatuh cinta dan setia pada kekasihnya dgn ikhlas,perubahan sikapnya amat mengejutkan. Hati lelaki yg dianggap keras selama ini, tiba-tiba secara semulajadi menjadi selembut kapas apabila sudah jatuh cinta dgn relanya. Bahkan lelaki yg mabuk cinta sanggup berkorban dan buat apa sahaja untuk kekasihnya.Sekeras manapun hati lelaki ia akan mengalirkan air mata apabila hatinya dilukai. Untuk melihat lelaki menangis amatlah payah. Diantara tanda-tanda lelaki yg jatuh cinta dgn hebat ialah:

1. Dia bersungguh-sungguh melakukan sesuatu untuk kekasihnya dgn rela bukan krn terpaksa.
2. Dia sentiasa ingin menghiburkan kekasihnya dan berubah menjadi orang yg kuat bercakap.
3. Dia banyak menasihati kekasihnya kerana dia amat menyayangi kekasihnya.
4. Dia berusaha mengongkong kebebasan kekasihnya kerana perasaan cemburunya yang meluap-luap.
5. Dia sentiasa takut kehilangan kekasihnya.
6. Dia sentiasa mengawasi pergerakan kekasihnya kerana dia sentiasa berasa curiga.
7. Dia tidak suka ada lelaki lain rapat dgn kekasihnya.
8. Dia mudah merasa cemburu dan sensitif apabila kekasihnya tidak menumpukan sepenuh perhatian kepadanya.
9. Adakalanya dia seperti seorang anak kecil yang meminta perhatian krn dia mahu kekasihnya melayannya lebih dari org lain.
10. Dia menjadi org yg paling rajin dan sanggup membantu kekasihnya melakukan apa saja.
11. Dia pandai merajuk hati krn ingin dipujuk oleh kekasihnya.
12. Dia akan mengalabah apabila kekasihnya berjauhan daripanya terlalu lama.
13. Dia sentiasa mempastikan keselamatan kekasihnya.
14. Dia mementingkan kekasihnya daripada dirinya sendiri.
15. Dia kerap bertanya adakah kekasihnya mencintainya kerana dia merasa kasihnya lebih kuat drpd kekasihnya.
16. Dia tidak akan melayan perempuan lain yg tidak ada urusan penting dengannya.
17. Dia cuba meluangkan lebih byk masa dgn kekasihnya walaupun terpaksa menunggu kasihnya dgn sabar.
18. Dia membanggakan kekasihnya di depan org lain.
19. Kalau ditinggalkan oleh kekasihnya, ia akan berasa serik dan tidak percaya dgn cinta perempuan lain namun dia sentiasa mengharap kekasihnya kembali kepadanya.
20. Apabila timbul org ketiga, dia akan hilang akal dan sanggup berbuat apa saja untuk merebut kembali kekasihnya.
21. Dia menganggap kekasihnya sebagai org yg paling dipercayainya dan sanggup menyerahkan harta walaupun nyawanya sendiri.
22. Dia tidak akan berlaku curang kepada kekasihnya namun jikalau dia dia berbuat demikian itu bererti hatinya belum 100 peratus mencintai kekasihnya.
23. Bukan semua lelaki sanggup menitiskan airmata hanya untuk seorang perempuan.

Hawa di ciptakan dari rusuk adam, Bukan dari kepalanya untuk di jadikan Pemimpinnya, Bukan dari kakinya untuk di jadikan alasnya, Melainkan dari sisinya Untuk di jadikan tempat hidupnya, Dekat dengan lengannya untuk di lindunginya, dan dekat di hatinya untuk di cintainya....

2002-12-03T17:32:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum..
maklumat dibawah ini hanyalah sekadar untuk menambah pengetahuan kepada bakal-bakal pengantin dan suami isteri yang merancang untuk memperolehi zuriat di masa yang terdekat ini mahupun pada masa akan datang..Menurut kepercayaan orang-orang Melayu, anak yang dilahirkan dalam keadaan cacat anggota, bisu, buta, pekak atau sebagainya itu, adalah disebabkan tekanan
atau "terkenan" dalam masa mengandung. Namun sebenarnya dalam perkara ini berhubungan rapat dengan cara persetubuhan yang dilakukan oleh ibubapa itu sendiri. Oleh kerana itu banyak ikhtiar-ikhtiar yang diusahakan oleh para bijak pandai, sama ada melalui ilmu pengetahuan kedoktoran moden atau cara tradisi bomoh kebatinan, supaya anak-anak yang bakal lahir itu tidak cacat atau cedera dalam bentuk pancainderanya. Ataupun dari segi baik-buruk perangai dan kelakuannya. Tetapi semuanya ini adalah kudrat dan iradat dari Tuhan yang telah menentukan waktu anak itu masih dalam kandungan ibunya lagi, seperti firman Allah S.W.T.:
"Sesungguhnya Allah jua yang berkuasa di atas segala-galanya." Banyak pendapat telah dirumuskan oleh para penyelidik timur dan barat mengenai hasil-hasil persetubuhan. Dibawah ini diperturunkan hasil-hasil penyelidikan tersebut berdasarkan daripada tarikh-tarikh melakukan persetubuhan itu sendiri dari pandangan atau dasar kiraan kalendar Islam mengikut peredaran bulan:-

1hb - kurang baik, lekas pemarah, tidak tetap hatinya dan suka hasad dengki.
2hb - kehidupannya di atas jalur (sempit), mudah berkelahi, dibenci orang, nafsunya rakus.
3hb - suka kejahatan dan maksiat, imannya mudah dikalahkan nafsu, sombong, takbur dan bangga
4hb - perangainya jahat bermegah, suka bohong dan mengkhianati orang.
5hb - murah rezeki, jadi kaya, suka beramal ibadat, taat undang-undang, tempat orang-orang memohon nasihat dan petunjuk bagi kebajikan.
6hb - suka merantau, bersuka-suka, boros dan gila.
7hb - gagah berani dan berterus-terang, tetapi kadang-kadang suka berbohong.
8hb - bintangnya baik, jadi kaya dan cekal berusaha.
9hb - suka menderhaka, busuk hati, engkar dan bengis.
10hb - baik hati, pemurah, bijaksana, bahagia hidupnya dan jaya dalam pekerjaannya.
11hb - baik hati, suka berbudi, taat undang-undang, disegani orang dan jadi pemimpin.
12hb - mudah sakit, derita, sukar hidupnya, sempit perjalanan dan fikiran.
13hb - tidak baik, mudah mendapat kemalangan dan sakit, banyak godaan hidup dan kesusahan.
14hb - murah rezeki, baik hati, pemurah, lemah-lembut dan suka berbudi
15hb - baik hati, senang pencariannya, bahagia, selalu gembira, lemah-lembut dalam segala hal.
16hb - nasibnya kurang baik, mudah ditimpa kemalangan dan bala, pemarah, sukar kehidupannya, suka bermegah.
17hb - hidupnya berbahagia, selalu didengki orang.
18hb - tidak baik, gemar kepada kejahatan, suka menyusahkan orang lain.
19hb - sentiasa dalam bahagia, tidak ada kebimbangan hidup, amanah dan dipercayai.
20hb - baik, bijaksana, berbudi dan bertimbangrasa.
21hb - tidak baik, sering ditimpa kemalangan, selalu dalam nahas.
22hb - baik, murah rezeki, dikasihi orang dan jadi pemimpin.
23hb - suka berbakti dan beramal, suka mencari ilmu dan menyiasat.
24hb - baik, dikasihi orang besar-besar dan berpangkat, dipercayai, tetapi banyak musuh.
25hb - degil, tidak mudah masuk nasihat, sukat menderhaka.
26hb - baik, berbakti, taat perintah, selalu takut menerima tuduhan.
27hb - tidak baik, selalu celaka hidupnya, terancam dan bahaya.
28hb - senang pencariannya, bahagia dan disegani orang, banyak hutang.
29hb - baik, murah rezeki, penyayang, berbudi, lemah-lembut, penyabar dan jadi pemimpin.
30hb - baik, lembut hati, pemurah, suka maksiat, lalai beribadat, susah menerima nasihat, menyesal kemudian dan boros.

Dengan peraturan-peraturan yang tertentu, kenikmatan dan kebahagiaan itu akan tercapai dengan sempurnanya. Semoga Allah S.W.T. meredhai dan memelihara kerukunan berumahtangga bagi para pembaca/netters sekalian. AMIN
(Someone mailed me this n juz felt like passing on to u guys........hope u had fun reading it!!!!)

2002-11-18T01:06:00.000-08:00

Have u ever come across or read excuse letters wrote by parents saying why their child cannot attend school on that particular period. Sometimes when u read these letters u will laugh till ur balls n breasts are out of place...Oh my....read these letters below n u will know why.... U may start laughing!!!!!!.....Oh sorry....Ok 123...laugh...!!

Actual School Absence Excuse Notes
These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits.
12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak. 13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17. Ally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

2002-11-15T23:13:00.000-08:00

BENEFITS OF SEX!!!!

You've gotta read this. It's hilarious! A fren of mine sent it to me.... Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. Ohhh I can't wait!!!

Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not?

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen,
which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced
cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more
enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving
you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called
pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the
acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in Palaiseau. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on. If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price. Do not keep this message. This message must leave your mail in ! 96 hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days. Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even if you are
not superstitious. GOOD SEX, but please remember: 10 copies of this message must leave your mail in 96 hours or you will not have good sex again for the rest of your life!!!!

2002-11-15T22:51:00.000-08:00

Subject: My poor bros and frens are complaining about 'Hantaran Naik Beb' !!!!

HANTARAN Zaman sekarang ni kan hantaran makin naik harga. Maklumlah kata dorang ikut market price. Kalau harga mas naik, naik lagi harga bakal2 bini. Tak ikut market price nanti orang kata kedekut lah sengkek lah tak mampu jangan ada hati nak kahwin lah hai...macam-macam story lagi.

Biasanya yang letak harga ialah mak sebelah pompan. Bapak selalu ikutkan aje ni semua kerja orang pompan dorang kata. Kadang2 ada jugak pompan sendiri yang letak harga lepas tu pakat dengan mak. Mengikut survey; sekarang paling minimum 10,000. Hantaran 8000, 6000 masih ada jugak tapi dah boleh kira pakai jari tangan je. Yang ada hantaran kira okay lah tapi ada serba satunya lagi. Cuma serba-serbi dan serba boleh je belum ada lagi.

Kat sini aku ada beberapa sebab kenapa sekarang hantaran makin mahal. Hah....korang bacalah :

Sebab..

1. Anak pompan sorang
2. Anak pompan sekolah tinggi 20 tingkat
3. Anak pompan paling jembu dalam family
4. Anak pompan kerja high post
5. Anak pompan biasa pakai barang branded
6. Kakak belum kahwin jadi kena kasi double untuk belanja kakaknya sekaligus
7. Bapak pompan towkay kayu balak mak pulak bekas ekseketip

Selalunya jawapan yang diberi oleh pihak lelaki kalau hantaran melampau sangat (ni dorang bebual antara family lelaki je) :

1. "Eh! Nak meniaga anak ke pe?"
2. "Kalau pandai masak ke jahit ke satu hal jugak. Ni asik pandai mekap je."
3. "Camni bilang dorang simpan anak tu dalam store buat perhiasan."
4. "Kalau lawa macam Karishma Kapoor tu takpe jugak. Ni idung pesek macam kena lenggek je."
5. "Apa dorang ingat kita sedara Bill Gates ke?"
6. "Lupakan sudah budak pompan tu. Nanti mak carik kan yang lebih power dari Catherine Zeta-Jones eh?"

Kata2 dari sebelah pompan yang lelaki ingin sangat nak dengar :

1. "Ikut suka hatilah. Berapa yang lelaki kasi; kita ambik je. Members tak cerewet."
2. "Takpelah. Kalau tak boleh adakan sekarang; kahwin dulu. Lepas tu bayar pelan-pelan cara instalment."
3. "Jangan bimbang. Korang cuma adakan hantaran je. Duit majlis semua kita sponsor."
4. "Pasal sekarang ni musim great sale sana sini; jadi kita ada staff discount. Korang cuma kasi 10% je."
5. "Berapa korang nak kasi, kasilah. Nak ambik free pun takpe. Anak pompan kita ramai lagi."
6. "Apakata kalau korang ambik kakaknya sekali. Tapi hantaran tetap sama. Kira 2 for the price of 1 ler. Risaulah kakaknya tak
kahwin-kahwin."
7. "Kita worang Yindia mari. Itu yantaran kita kasi jugak. Tapi lupya anak musti tinggal sini jugak. Kita pya sarkek tamoh kasi dudur
sana wokay?"

Kalau kena pulak family lelaki yang loaded makan tak abis punya;jawapannya:

1. "Okay setuju. Kita up lagi ,000. Nothing much ler."
2. "Ehh sikit nah! Camni tak nak lah. Tak sama standard dengan kita punya expectation ler."
3. "Ni hantaran kira Rupiah ke Sing dollars? Kita cuma simpan American dollars je."
4. "Kita tak kasi pakai cash ler. Korang pilih nak AMEX ke; Diners ke; boleh kata semua credit card kita ada lah."
5. "Sebagai hadiah upacara masuk minang ni; kita ada siapkan kereta Lambhorgini. Tu anak bujang kita tengah parking kat bawah tu."
6. "Ni korang mintak hantaran ke; mintak duit nak belikan dia baju tidur.
Murah nah?"

Haa...tu lah beberapa kerenah orang melayu kita ni. Jadi untuk pasangan2 yang nak kawin tu; bincang betul2 antara korang dengan family dalam hal ni. Mak pompan tu pun kalau nak letak harga; berpatutan lah dengan kemampuan pihak lelaki. Kalau tak berdengek lelaki tu nak adakan hantaran mahal2. Hati dah suka punya pasal; semua boleh aje. Cukup time badan cengkung-mengkung tak larat nak naik pelamin pasal kerja tiga empat macam untuk kumpul duit.

Bab yang atas ni pun untuk aku jugak. Pikiran seyy kalau kena lecture dengan mak aku pasal ni. Maybe get married to an educated young village girl is better....hhhhmmmm.....Entahlah....dunia...dunia...

2002-10-07T03:48:00.000-07:00

"Stop Eating Chillie, said The Deer To The Monkey."
Many of us like to eat hot and spicy stuff, some of us have the habit of making sure there is something spicy to bite on while dining....Too much of chillie may make u pay and get urself warded for a couple of weeks and also cause a scar in ur stomache, a scar that is uglier than a 80 year old woman's butt crack(as if I saw one)...but to a fren he thinks his scar is a sign of macho...my ass. This incident happened a couple of times to a close fren of mine......He actually swallows chillies as though there aren't any other dishes worth swallowing during meals...Poor fren but he's stubborn as a mule, quite surprising for a man of his calibre.....and also maybe he can afford paying those hospital bills. This 'Fren' of mine is 'jazz' like the monkey in the cartoon in RTM(TV Channel). While his frens n family advise him not to eat chillie, he still carries on but in the end he sets his mouth and butt on fire....and comes home with another scar...and he actually enjoys tubes being inserted in his wee wee....ooohh ouch!

2002-10-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

Essence of Patience!!! I waited and waited n asked God when will it come......He Replied......

Hello All!! First, I would like to thank Allah S.W.T for I have got a JOB at last, Syukur Alhamdullilah.....Also My FAMILY,....George,......Thanx to my dear gorgeous ex-schoolmate Aidil, I owe u one. Thank you EZ.....for ur divine support.....May Ezra be blessed with more black cows. Thanx to my bros for supporting me. I will be starting on the 09th October 2002. To those yet to get a Job, hang on...something is coming up for u.........

2002-10-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

RENT
A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did. Before he left in the morning, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT." On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed a note: Dear Madam: Enclosed find a check in the amount of $250 for the rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that: (1) it had never been occupied; (2) that there was plenty of heat; (3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and at home. Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note: Dear Sir, First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlord.

2002-10-03T01:21:00.000-07:00

HR Managers
WAFANGKULO......To those big time bastards n bitches who sits on their chair and call themselves director of Human Resources or human resources managers.....Its sickening and really demotivating, to have gone thru an interview with a company who has a high profile in the industry. The recruitment managers themselves look like loan sharks and they speak longkang english, they pretend that they know everything but when its time i ask them questions bout the company.....MY GOD.....if the GM comes to know bout them being dumbfounded or totally going off point, then another Yellow Bastard Son of A Lamp Post would become the next HR Manager and things would carry on the same........Wake Up Singapore!!!!!!.........Everybody deserves a chance and do not turn the country into an Yellow polluted nation.

2002-10-03T00:58:00.000-07:00

SEPT 11......BIG DEAL!!!!!!
NEW YORK (AZZAM): As the World gears up to mark the first anniversary of the 11 September attacks, we would like to pay tribute to the innocent victims of terrorism: innocent men, women and children who have been brutally murdered without any crime, without any television channel to mention their plight, without any magazine to print their photos, without any newspaper to list
their biographies and without any cotton quilts to carry their name patches.

On this day, we remember the 121,237 Iraqi Muslim babies who have died in these last twelve months (World Heath Organisation statistics) as a direct result of American-imposed sanctions on Iraq, preventing critical child-medicines from reaching Iraqi hospitals. Three times as many Iraqi babies die every month as a result of these sanctions, than were killed in the 11 September 2001 attacks.

On this day, we remember the 31,202 Afghan Muslim civilians who have been brutally murdered since October 2001, by American warplanes indiscriminately bombing their villages, houses, mosques, hospitals and wedding parties. Ten times as many innocent Afghans have been killed by Americans than were killed in the 11 September 2001 attacks.

On this day, we remember the 6084 Indian Muslims killed and burnt in cold-blooded killing orgies organised by the Indian government in Gujarat, during the last twelve months.

On this day, we remember the 5078 Chechen Muslim civilians who have been killed by Russian aerial bombing during the last twelve months, having been given a green light by the American 'War on Terror'.

On this day, we remember the 3039 Palestinian Muslims who have been murdered by Americans (via weapons held in the hands of Israeli soldiers) since September 2001.

On this day, we remember the 2170 Uzbek Muslims who have been taken away from their homes by the American-backed Karimov Government in the middle of the night, never to be seen again.

On this day, we remember the 1473 Chinese Muslims who have been executed in public after having been forced to drink alcohol and the flesh of swine, in the East Turkestan (Muslim) region of China.

On this day, we remember the 1399 Kashmiri Muslims murdered and the 852 gang-rapes carried out by Hindu and Sikh soldiers in Occupied Kashmir.

On this day, we remember the 1261 Indonesian Muslims massacred by Christians in the Maluku region of Indonesia, having been supplied with M-16 assault rifles, rocket launchers and funds by the Netherlands.

On this day, we remember the 598 Muslim, Mujahid prisoners being kept in small cages in Guantanamo Bay, after their beards were forcibly shaved, their hands and feet were bound and their eyes and ears were covered, in conditions where they are subject to malaria, heatstroke and other tropical diseases.

On this day, we remember the deaths of the hearts of 1.2 billion Muslims Worldwide who are blind to the above, but awake to a few people killed on 11 September 2001.

2002-10-01T15:16:00.000-07:00

THERE GOES OUR SUPPER DUOS......... N MY LATE FREN
First of all, my apologies for being away for so long, my first blog on site, bored many, some did enjoy, anyways thanx guys for at least reading it......Reason me took so long to blog, was because me very busy, with my job hunt and etc....Etc......meaning, eating like a cow day and night....but sad to say, one of our usual supper spot at Jurong East, The Indian Stall, was raided today at midnight by local authorities, for the two mamaks were illegal immigrants, but whatever they were, they were harmless and they served their customers well.

U guys muz be wondering why my heading is such and what the hell am i still blabbering bout.......Well, my blogger frens and bros.........yesterday the 01st of October 2002, was the day where i lost a fren/bro who was with me for 12 years. I found out yesterday that he is really a bastard and so is his bitch.....the ever arrogant daughter of a lamp post. I dunno actually what she feeds him with or what they both feed on.....they both are fuckin idiots with a stinkin' attitude....i wish they don't pollute the sewerage.....and I wonder whether that bitch has periods as normal women.....or maybe she is not even a woman....... They both think with shit on their head.....or maybe there is always a sudden rush of shit thru their brains. Seriously talkin bout them makes me sick and thats it, fuck them both, may they fuck in hell and may hell fuck them both!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bye mates, Blog u sometime soon.......Me gettin out of here.............Take Care!!!!!!!!!!!!

2002-09-08T16:17:00.000-07:00

SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
Gruezi damen und herren, willkommen bei the blogspot website von 'SAMTHASIM'!!!! Heute meine subjek gibts eine selber opinion und das subjek ist 'Social Responsibility'......Vielen Dank!!!! Viel Spass!!!! Guten Reden!!!!! Und Ich wunschen ihnen einen guten seiten!!!!!! "Auf Wedersehen"!!!!!!!

Presidential Charity", just look how many companies took part to support n sponsor this charity event, their objective, was it just to support the charity event itself or was it another strategic move to attract stakeholders n investors into their business. Ladies and gentlemen, I should admit that todays business world has turn from a comprehensive arena to a guerilla warfare. Companies kill one another, with their unimaginable creativity working with technology and using manpower to their advantage. Big businesses are becoming more friendly towards the environment, in the eyes of the public, they build charity homes, donate money to needies, create scholarships, all these are 'Strategic Business Moves', so that they gain access and win the support of the national government, in which, to proceed with their expansion plans. National heritage is also destroyed away by them, for the expansion of their new businesses.

Nowadays, big businesses are slowly chasing small businesses away from the business arena. The giants comes up with promotions which is irresistible, while the tiny ones still takes their time shouting out their famous satay or seafood at the coffeeshops. Today, entrepreneurs in Singapore, in the food and lodging industry are holding on to their money, 'Why', coz the market is becoming more saturated, with the 'Giants' expanding their businesses where they provide their customers whatever they want 'Under One Roof'. But looking on the positive side of their objectives, many locals gain sponsorship and life has become much more harmonious. Without these 'Giants', the business arena would have become less competitive, and innovative and consumers would still be eating beside push carts, near fly-infested areas at Geylang Lor 23, famous for Fish Ball Mee etc....

The best-managed companies in today's fast moving global economy are doing more than producing good returns for investors. They are adding new value to the communities they serve in very businesslike ways.

World-class companies are those that go beyond delivery of competitive consistent-quality goods and services worldwide. They are also preferred employers, preferred investments and preferred neighbours wherever they operate. To help achieve their non-financial objectives, many have adopted corporate creeds or ethic statements to govern their behaviour. They measure their performance on balanced scorecards that include involvement in the communities they serve. Each knows that its entry into new markets will be judged on its past performance elsewhere. This self-interest helps to assure that corporate citizenship considerations are imbedded into day-to-day business decision-making.

While most global companies are experienced at competing for customers, talent and investment worldwide as well as competing for reputation, as a good citizen is fast becoming a high priority as well. To be a preferred neighbour in distinct communities across five continents requires a company to think and act locally. To succeed, they must also think and act globally.

Traditional community relations management, with an emphasis on charitable support for local organizations, is not enough. This is especially true for companies that have delegated community grant making to local business heads, with no company-wide guidelines. In such cases, a single company can find itself simultaneously supporting an AIDS walkathon in one market, a beach clean-up in another, and a jazz concert in yet another.

Moreover, grants alone rarely differentiate the work of one company from another. Tapping other corporate resources, especially those linked to a company's business strengths, can. A business-related strategy can engage employees, encourage them to participate in community problem-solving and share in the pride of accomplishment. Leveraging business strengths can also help companies build shareholder confidence in a company's community investments by demonstrating that healthy communities and healthy businesses prosper hand in hand.

Not surprisingly, the world's leading companies are rethinking their community involvement along these lines and becoming much more strategic about it. They are prioritising community issues common to markets they serve and assessing how particular business strengths can be organized to make a measurable impact on them. As they do this, they often seek to collaborate with Governments to assure that the strategy they have adopted is consistent with public initiatives.

As the global economy accelerates and becomes even more interdependent, well-managed companies will play helpful roles in setting standards for community involvement. They will increasingly focus their energies in areas where they can leverage their core-business strengths, target their resources and return the best value to their communities, their employees and their investors.
For the past decade, many big players in the hospitality environment such as Marriott, Shangri-La, Starbucks, Pizza Hut and Mac Donalds have established themselves as giants in the industry. These big names are well known throughout the globe. Their involvement in public activities such as hygiene campaigns, supporting the poor and needy as well as other community relations’ activities have instilled to the world that they not only care about the well-being of the company but also the environment in which they operate.

Increasingly, the business community is recognising the strength and financial reality that the inclusion of the environment into corporate strategy can offer. The concept of cleaner production and of environmental management has meant that the environmental aspects related to a firm, its products and services are becoming increasingly integrated into every aspect of its operation.